Someone who wants to be in your life will make damn sure to be in it. That is one of the most certain and simultaneously devastating truths. It's also one of the best examples of actions being louder than words.
Personally, I've always thought of myself as a very trusting person. I believe what people tell me, unless given explicit reason not to.
I even tend to be a bit gullible or, as I like to say, impressionable. I enjoy listening to conspiracy theories and I listen with wholehearted openness, believing a theory to be factual as it's told to me. Then, of course, I think critically about it and form my own opinion.
What I'm getting at is that I believe words to a fault. Maybe because my love language is words of affirmation, or because I'm a writer. I love words, and when I love the person saying them, I want so badly to believe in what they're telling me.
Anyone in the world will tell you, though, that actions speak much louder than words ever could. Every single day, the people in your life are showing you who they are.
The person not responding to your texts? They don't want to talk to you.
The person cancelling plans last minute? They don't value your time.
That is what their actions are telling you, and that is what you should believe.
Someone's intentions get muddied when they try to explain them in words, but there is nothing muddy about someone's actions.
My problem was that I refused to believe actions. I saw them and I chose to think that someone was acting a certain way because of something they were going through, something I couldn't understand.
I chose to believe what their lips were selling to me. Words can be so beautiful, especially coming from lips you've kissed or lips that pressed against your forehead to say goodnight.
*But, if you watched your life as a silent film, what would everyone around you be telling you? Whose love and loyalty is still palpable despite the silence? Who remains integral in your life because of their actions toward you?
Recently, I sat face to face with someone telling me that they cared about me, promising me that they were genuine in wanting me. So, I put this theory to the test: If they want to be part of my life, they will be.
I should have seen it coming. After all, the warning signs were all there: in every text I didn't receive, in cancelled plans, and in the clumsiness they so openly displayed but I ignored.
I should have seen it coming.
I've now learned to widen my eyes, look around, and ask, "what are actions telling me?"
*This post was inspired by Marissa Lace, a lifestyle blogger who spoke about this topic in a YouTube video. Marissa is where I first heard the silent film reference, but I cannot find the original source.